So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
