just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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