cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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