It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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