ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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