I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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