I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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