Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
wow bdsm is so cute
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
