I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We don't watch enough power rangers
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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