dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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