..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
