We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
