For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
