We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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