Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
