Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
