porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
