I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
