R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
