worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
