He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
did you just send me my own nude
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
