one might say we're banned from that church
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
