youre lurking in front of me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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