the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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