Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
