It's Friday. Sex?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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