there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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