You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
