I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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