forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
