i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
