I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.