Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne

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  (734): smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne http://tfl.nu/p5m6
  Replies (2) Good night (1202) Bad night (496)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks

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  (908): We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks http://tfl.nu/lwab
  Replies (10) Good night (4292) Bad night (1570)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.

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  (412): Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/wd4d
  Replies (16) Good night (4263) Bad night (1045)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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  (+44): according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag http://tfl.nu/idf5
  Replies (34) Good night (1690) Bad night (5319)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.

  (949): View more from California

  she's my drunk super hero.

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  (219): you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds. (949): she's my drunk super hero. http://tfl.nu/ngha
  Replies (17) Good night (5766) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.

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  (315): i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night. http://tfl.nu/xhhx
  Replies (12) Good night (1569) Bad night (2859)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me

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  (616): im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me http://tfl.nu/gxh6
  Replies (5) Good night (829) Bad night (2862)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.

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  (516): Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase. http://tfl.nu/afiw
  Replies (9) Good night (1647) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.

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  (970): I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff. http://tfl.nu/cfnv
  Replies (2) Good night (1382) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.

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  (574): I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child. http://tfl.nu/o0ig
  Replies (8) Good night (1856) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Last night was just one giant freudian slip.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You made out with EVERYBODY.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Can I just bleach my life?

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  (702): Last night was just one giant freudian slip. (503): You made out with EVERYBODY. (702): Can I just bleach my life? http://tfl.nu/dy05
  Replies (3) Good night (1729) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.

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  (832): Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test. http://tfl.nu/gs8m
  Replies (3) Good night (625) Bad night (1455)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

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  (512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.

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  (704): Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water. http://tfl.nu/djc8
  Replies (2) Good night (929) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!

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  (651): Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me! http://tfl.nu/o7c9
  Replies (8) Good night (369) Bad night (965)

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