Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.

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(907): He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED. http://tfl.nu/5p57

Replies (10) Good night (2593) Bad night (925)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero

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(859): Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero http://tfl.nu/5voz

Replies (9) Good night (4927) Bad night (1622)
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(810): View more from Michigan

The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.

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(810): The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion. http://tfl.nu/bsvq

Replies (15) Good night (5503) Bad night (991)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential

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(330): I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential http://tfl.nu/2wmk

Replies (5) Good night (3212) Bad night (1096)
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(817): View more from Texas

HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.

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(817): HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis. http://tfl.nu/iuvq

Replies (28) Good night (6150) Bad night (1096)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.

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(719): I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever. http://tfl.nu/sr0q

Replies (15) Good night (4885) Bad night (948)
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(815): View more from Illinois

...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.

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(815): ...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates. http://tfl.nu/314n

Replies (9) Good night (1109) Bad night (2899)
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(407): View more from Florida

Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon

(407): View more from Florida

Covered in confetti and bad decisions

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(407): Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon (407): Covered in confetti and bad decisions http://tfl.nu/kydc

Replies (9) Good night (1866) Bad night (738)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way

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(217): Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way http://tfl.nu/0knp

Replies (9) Good night (3015) Bad night (768)
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(407): View more from Florida

I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.

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(407): I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by. http://tfl.nu/944n

Replies (10) Good night (619) Bad night (1401)
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(706): View more from Georgia

WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY

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(706): WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY http://tfl.nu/3x6y

Replies (5) Good night (954) Bad night (471)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me

(815): View more from Illinois

I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs

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(507): You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me (815): I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs http://tfl.nu/bc51

Replies (2) Good night (2104) Bad night (587)
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(515): View more from Iowa

My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.

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(515): My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker. http://tfl.nu/y9qd

Replies (0) Good night (1209) Bad night (607)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her

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(865): He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her http://tfl.nu/a25x

Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (507)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve

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(203): I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve http://tfl.nu/dnsd

Replies (4) Good night (270) Bad night (370)

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