I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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