Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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