just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
