belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
