talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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