Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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