I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
