you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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