so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
the liver wants what the liver wants
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize