So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
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Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
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mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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