haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
