Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I want to make a zoo with you.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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