OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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