I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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