Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
