8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
