No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
