I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My feet surprised me
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