Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
