I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
