weddingsv make me drug and hornr
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
