Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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