grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
