How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
