8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?