omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.