Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

toast her oven

(1-248): View more from Michigan

toast her strudel

(248): View more from Michigan

inspect her gadget

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(516): View more from New York

So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad

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