remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You can't special order awesome
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
