"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
